Look@Her: Special Needs Mom, Christina A.!

Special Needs Mom, Christina A.!

Most Wednesdays, a special needs mom or a military spouse small business owner will be profiled on Look@Her. These are very special, inspiring and hard-working women. I am honored to be able to recognize them for being wonderful mothers, wives and role models.

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Without further hesitation, let me introduce?

• Name: ?Christina A.
• Spouse: ?Married for 13 years to Carlton
• Children:?2
• Current Base/Location:?
• Christina is??a Special Education Teachers Assistant at the elementary school that her girls attend. ?Prior to that, she worked as a substitute teacher at the same school.
• Christina has a??Bachelor of Arts in Chemistry and a Bachelor of Science in Secondary Science Education from NC State University
• Christina has a wonderful blog??Riding the Crazy Train: ?Diary of a Delirious Mom?and I highly recommend a visit (you will keep going back, I promise!)

?You must advocate for your child! ?As parents, we are our children?s best hope for getting what they need to thrive, whether it be assistance at school, or therapy, or special equipment and accommodations. ?Whatever you do, if you feel your child could do more or do better with particular services or accommodations, DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK! ?Demand those things, if need be. ?If you feel you can?t adequately advocate for your child personally, hire someone who can! ?You will not regret it. ? Christina A

What are your child?s special needs??I have twin daughters, and both are on the autism spectrum. ?Things get ?interesting? around my house some days.

How do you advocate for your child??I use my blog as a way to raise autism awareness. ?I use stories of everyday life and humor to teach others about the different way in which people with autism perceive the world around them. ?I had a really hard time finding information about autism and Asperger?s syndrome that was written in a plain-spoken way. ?Everything out there, for the most part, is very clinical and scientific. ?I wanted to provide a warmer, more realistic from-the-trenches voice for parenting autistic children. ?I hope I achieve that at least part of the time. ?I also wouldn?t be offended if I made you laugh once in awhile, too!

Share your journey as a special needs mom:?From the time my daughters were just a few months old, I began being aware in differences between the two of them, as well as differences between my girls and other babies. ?Both my girls were missing all their milestones, like sitting up and crawling, by a pretty wide margin (several months usually). ?Princess was missing her milestones by much bigger margins than Birdie, however. ?She had very little muscle tone in her core. ?She was also showing signs of stimming, startling easily, avoiding eye contact, not reaching for us, and not responding to her name, all before the age of one. ?All these things, coupled with my limited experience working with special education students, made me suspect that Princess was on the autism spectrum. ?We obtained physical therapy for her through our health care provider, but our pediatrician very carefully skirted the word autism. ?He would only say that Princess had speech and gross motor developmental delays. ?Even when pressed on the issue, he would change the subject or tell me not to worry ?because she is still too young to tell. ?Besides, you pay for that diagnosis out of your pocket.? ?Upon being told that, I set off on a self-education journey to read everything I could get my hands on to learn about autism. ?After reading the definition of autism and how it presents itself, I was floored. ?I felt like the author had written his book based on my Princess. ?It was spot on. ?As hard as it was to accept that my baby had autism, it was so much easier than wondering what was different about her. ?I finally knew she wasn?t broken. ?Her differences had a name, which made them something I could handle. ?From that point on, I armed myself with knowledge, and learned through trial and error what worked to help my daughter understand and get along in the world.

As the girls got older, I started noticing more and more that Birdie, too, had some ?quirks? other kids her age did not have. ?She couldn?t tolerate other people entering her personal space, yet she had no concept of staying out of the personal space of others. ?Her vocabulary at two years-old was already more impressive than most 3rd graders. ?She would fixate on activities and certain objects with no sign of getting tired of them? so different from the short attention span of the average 2 year old. ?Still, we wrote off her weirdness as learning these behaviors (except for the vocabulary) from her sister. ?Since they were twins and the only kids in the house, it stood to reason that she would pick up some of her sister?s odd behavior. ?We couldn?t easily do play dates, due to how overwhelming tended to be to Princess, so Birdie had no other children to model her behavior after. ?It wasn?t until Kindergarten that it became perfectly clear to me that Birdie was also on the spectrum. ?The differences were glaring between Birdie and her neurotypical peers. ?I guess I was so busy attending to the fire that was Princess, that I didn?t see Birdie smoldering and about to burst into flames, too. ?Either that, or my point of reference was just skewed? I was, after all, a first time mother. ?How do you compare your kids to the ?norm? when there is no norm at your house?

Both of my girls received their official autism diagnosis through the school system. ?Princess received her services very early? we enrolled her in an early intervention pre-school program when she was three that awarded her services twice a week. ?She received physical therapy and one hour a week of one-on-one time with a developmental preschool specialist. ?Princess was then reevaluated in Kindergarten to receive services in 1st grade. ?Birdie did not go through the special education eligibility process until the end of 2nd grade. ?At first we felt that she may be able to handle the stresses of public education without an IEP. ?Her second grade year, although academically was a breeze, proved to be a little more than she could handle on her own socially. ?Her IEP services are scheduled to begin this school year.

What has been the greatest difficulty you have faced in parenting a child with special needs??The hardest part of parenting a child with special needs is dealing with the uneducated, uninformed, and unaware public. ?So many times people will make assumptions about my children (and me) without having all the facts about their disability. ?I would much rather be asked about my children?s challenges than have them judged based on a lack of information.?

What are some struggles for you as a special needs mom??I think the most difficult part of all of this has not been the fact that my daughters have autism. ?The hardest part has been living so far away from my parents, siblings, and in-laws. ?So many people have a natural support system in place, and can call on family when they need a hand. ?This has never really been the case for me and my crew. ?Although my husband is not military, his job has made us move several times over the last 13 years, which means I don?t live near childhood or longtime friends, either. ?I also can?t easily hire a sitter, because sitters don?t usually understand my children?s needs. ?This leaves me feeling a bit isolated and ?on my own? when things get hard, or when my husband is travelling for work. ?I can handle my girls? diagnoses? it?s the pressure of being the sole responsible adult most of the time that kills me!

What advice would you give other special needs parents??Don?t be afraid to ask for help? from family, from friends, from your child?s school, or anyone else. ?First of all. you can?t do everything yourself all the time. ?Parents of special needs kids are the worst about asking for help, because we don?t want be a burden or explain our children?s needs to others. ?We have to get over this! ?Second, you child is often entitled to certain types of help at school or through medical providers, but you have to seek those things out. ?We are our kids? best advocates.

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Thanks?to?Christina A.??for sharing her story! Please visit her blog ? ?Riding the Crazy Train: ?Diary of a Delirious Mom

Leave some love and tell her I sent you her way!

If you are a special needs mom or a military spouse business owner,??I want to profile YOU?on Look@Her please send an email to msmommyhh6@yahoo.com to receive the questionnaire and more information.

I?m also looking for a sponsor(s) for Look@Her?to provide an appreciation gift to the moms & military spouses profiled. If interested, please send an email to msmommyhh6@yahoo.com.

Source: http://msmommyhh6.com/2012/08/29/lookher-special-needs-mom-christina-a/

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